In the pages of her newest book, author Angela Schwieterman shares with readers the story of her journey of faith during her daughter’s journey of life. In her words: “Part One of this book follows our story through the difficult pregnancy and Mayah’s six-month stay in the NICU following her miraculous birth. It was the darkest year of my life, full of doubt and consumed by fear. As I leaned on the Lord in my despair, the seeds of hope began to emerge, and we rejoiced with news of her discharge—Mayah’s journey home. Part Two depicts us in our new role as caregivers to our trach- and ventilator-dependent daughter. The uncertainty and fear were still very much present, but hope continued to grow as we embraced our new life. My faith had become tied to a promise in my heart of Mayah’s healing. That faith would turn into an obsessive pursuit of bringing the hopeful healing into reality. The false foundation of my faith was repeatedly revealed as I continued to question God’s love. Despite the many detours I made on my journey of faith, the Lord remained faithful and was patiently laying the groundwork for me to hear His call—the Lord would call me home—to the Catholic Church. This is our story. Close to God: Our Journey Home.”
Angie writes . . .
“This whole agonizing experience had been a journey of redemption, one that had brought me to my knees. It broke me completely; the light and joy left my eyes and heart several times. God rescued me from the pit of despair, He gave me unexplainable peace, and He led me through His Word to a new place. It was like a lightbulb went on in my mind and brightened every thought. All the doubt that was always lingering in my mind, constantly questioning God’s goodness, it was finally dissipating.
Just a couple of weeks prior I couldn’t even honestly say that if I had it all to do over, I would. What if we had waited another month to get pregnant, would we still have had a baby with birth defects? I was too ashamed to verbalize the thought, but it was always there. Now I knew that this amazing miracle was my gift, and I wouldn’t change what we had endured.
‘How could anything good come from this?’ I had uttered those words several times. Amazingly, I could now declare God’s goodness and testify that He was working our situation for good. He didn’t want to change our situation, He wanted to change our hearts and minds.
It was a beautiful lesson of love. Oh, if only I could have retained the lesson. Instead, I would have to relearn it many times.”
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